After continuously winning the lottery, I may or I will try for once more. Maybe soon. I became a refugee in my own country which is terrible but calming experience, but I sort of like the loneliness. Wouldn't you agree? You may dig all sorts of holes, some you can fill, others you won't.

There is a song narrating every experience and I convinced myself that the degrees of freedom aren't that flexible to allow for an increase of the entropy. They actually may as well be, but I do not want to bend them this way.

For the past seven years I was definitely the worst copy of myself. I regret it. Mainly because I missed each and every opportunity to be happy or give happiness. I knew that it was some artificial world, or sort of an added reality as was the one before that, and the one before that. All of them were sort of turtles all the way. Just like the blockchain, except that you are trapped in layers of past events, rumors and prejudice.

On the point of lying - I did lie a lot. I thought that since everybody was lying or placing bets on my actions and existence, this would be something adequate. I have a son now, they made a mockery of him too. Unfortunately the vast majority of people are also deliberately manipulating him. It is somewhat evil or sinister. I thought that nobody is that insane. But some people in my experiment are. Or the experiment I made of myself. Or precisely put - the experiment they made of me. If that is the essence of humanity, the hell with humanity.

That may explain my willingness to commit to the effort they expect me to.

The events in the beginning of the year tied to such an amazing knot. I almost lost my mind. It felt like temporal anomaly. It still does feel like deja vu or tiny wormholes or quantum reality. I was thinking about that a lot in the past years. The excellence and attention to detail in collecting the memories, reading my fictional diary and performing requires a true admiration. Congrats for the effort. I love you for the discreet trainings, care and advice.

I miss the earnest communication which I never got.

I also miss the erased history.

If you are changing yourself to become a better person, pick carefully.

Do not drink.

Punk's not dead.

TP is dead. /I do hope/.

Carpe Caelitus Venter Cavus *

* seize what's coming out of the belly hole.

Diz hez bekum der new slog'n fur TV shouz produzerz.

Rest of the story

This time I won't wish luck to Mr. Aitos Aidol, just hope he cures.

Worth mentioning - Architecture

Simon's Cat

Meine Pflicht heischt dich weiter zu führen.

Usually reality formats are full of strange characters - some exaggerated, skewed mirror images of pop stars or celebrities.

However in this Music Idol II (which is ongoing on Btv) there is this funny character Ivan Angelov, something like an walking, pocket version of comedy late night show, and I am placing bets, that he has the potential to remain till the finals. Now for the trade mark he worked out - the most grabbing part of his suspense-full performance, in the epilogue, or The Phrase:

"Meine Pflicht heißt dich weiter zu führen."

which makes german speaking member of the jury to scowl. And makes me smile. You see, the phrase is from Mozart's Magic Flute, as for the meaning, that is something you'll have to find on your own.

Good luck Ivan.

I'll moider da bum

Back in 1930, a reporter had this fascinating idea of asking boxer Tony Galento, about William Shakespeare. And here's the answer he got:

"I suppose he's one of them foreign heavyweights. They're all lousy. I'll moider da bum".

For some reason, you may think, that Two Ton Tony, owner of Orange's pub "The Nut Club", is one of those charismatic, adorable rogues, which sometimes boxing produces? And if you do, you'll be totally wrong. He was none of those. Still, he was unique and popular, this One-Man Riot and "beer barrel that walks like a man". Still, he gained individuality, and recognition.

You see, in 1930's boxing was America's most popular sport, with no PR, managers and a lot of dirty moves. "Because he [Tony] had been hailed as the most colorful fisticuffer since John L. Sullivan, 10,000 curious fight fans turned out to watch his well-publicized antics." [Time]

What were the reasons of this popularity? A boxer, later an actor, and president candidate? He did even play with Brando, in a movie directed by Elia Kazan.

I think Joseph Monninger, has the answer:

"a moment, and an era reminds us that sometimes it is through effort, exceeding expectations and beating the odds, that people can most enduringly define themselves".

At Depression's end, those overlooked "heroes" were needed. I think. At least the underlying refrain, for all those man and woman with potential, which with different fortune could be remembered not with "trying" but with "achieving" something better.

"There won't be nuttin' left of him 'cause I'll analyze him", said Tony. For once funny, imagining him analyzing, and even funnier, because, after all, Tony's popularity was a popularity of a Fantasy. And you should not analyze fantasies. We need fantasies. To live.

An idiot meets his echo

Johnny Bravo, the narcistic, dim-witted celebrity yells from the edge of canyon:

Johnny B: "I'm good"
The Echo: "'m gooooood"

Johnny B: "I'm better"
The Echo: "'m betttrrr"

Johnny B: "I'm better than you!"
The Echo: "'m better than youu!!"

Johny to himself: "Oh, he's good"

What happens when an idiot meets his echo is some sort of avalanche. Worth mentioning recursion of self inducing stupidity. When you think of it, it is one of THE drivers of the society. You happen to notice it almost everywhere - traffic, media, fashion, stock markets or politics, almost everywhere we hear some idiot's echo. Now, why is that?

You know Einstein speaking of infinity? "Two things are infinite. The Universe and Human Stupidity, although I am not sure about the former".

Does it mean, that each and every time we resonate with echos, we are idiots? Yes, indeed, I would say, and not really. I feed my ego, trying to restrain of resonating, but soon enough found out for example, that I tend to buy and read the most read newspaper. And you probably know, that as particles of the society we are constantly resonating to the pleasures and discontents, so what should we do? Isolate? Hide? One simply can not. As human beings there always would be things that make us resonate with one another. With something or everyting. With opinions, theories or even the buss schedule. One driver for this resonance could be this hypothesis, "Safety in numbers". Or, the more people tuned in an opinion, we support, the less likely is for us to find someone to collide with. Do we avoid social collisions? You see, conformism is proven to exist. Are you a leader? Really? In what plane?

Anyway, there is this saying "Every time you follow a beatle, it would lead you to nothing but crap". And maybe, something deep down in our evolution yells "you don't want to miss it". Simply none of the progress we see, would be achieved if we did not make mistakes. Just mind the beatles.